Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you would pick up someone in the library
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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