My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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