i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
