So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
