I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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