Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
