So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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