how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
