he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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