In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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