Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
