I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
