Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
