she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
