I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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