It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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