Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
