I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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