Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
