even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
