You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this will be a night to untag.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
