VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My balls are so social today.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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