Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
