I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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