a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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