Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
