Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
