I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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