i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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