I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
