Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
