Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
