talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
