just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
