I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
