Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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