Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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