And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize