'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
