Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How external is "for external use only"?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
