you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you will always have a special place in my vag
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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