If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
