She's JV to your varsity
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I want a musical about memes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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