I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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