I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
