i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
