LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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