i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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