Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
