I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
