let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
